Scene Breakdown

Scene 1

SCENE 1
CORONATION CATASTROPHE FADE IN:
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Scene 2

INT. NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL - DAY
The grand cathedral is packed to the rafters with noblemen, clergy, and diplomats. The atmosphere is electric. At the center, NAPOLEON BONAPARTE stands proudly in his resplendent coronation robe. Behind him, POPE PIUS VII clutches the imperial crown, looking slightly annoyed. MARSHAL NEY fidgets nervously by the side, trying to adjust his too-tight ceremonial uniform. (booming voice)
NAPOLEON
1 Today, history shall remember the 1
greatness of Napoleon
Bonaparte! A new emperor for a
new era!
The crowd erupts in polite applause. Napoleon gestures
dramatically to the Pope.
NAPOLEON (CONT’D) 2 Pius! The crown, if you will. 2 POPE PIUS VII 3 Your Majesty, tradition dictates 3 that I place the crown upon your head.
NAPOLEON
4 Tradition? Tradition is for the weak! 4
I shall crown myself!
The crowd murmurs, shocked. Josephine, sitting in the front
row,
rolls her eyes.
JOSEPHINE
(to herself)
5 Here we go... 5
Napoleon dramatically steps forward and grabs the crown. As
he
raises it above his head, it SLIPS from his hands and
tumbles to
the floor with a loud CLANG.
NAPOLEON
(monumentally embarrassed)
6 Who polished this crown? It’s far too 6
slippery!
--- PAGE BREAK --- 2. Marshal Ney immediately scrambles to retrieve it.
MARSHAL NEY
(apologetic)
7 I’ll get it, Your Majesty! 7
As Ney bends down, his too-tight pants RIP audibly. The
crowd
bursts into laughter. Napoleon’s face turns crimson.
NAPOLEON
8 Silence! This is a solemn occasion! 8
Marshal Ney hands the crown back, but a gust of wind from
the
open cathedral doors causes the crown to roll off the altar.
A CHORISTER, attempting to catch it, accidentally trips and crashes into a stack of lit candles. The flames spread to the banners hanging overhead.
JOSEPHINE
(standing, shouting)
9 Fire! Somebody put that out! 9
Napoleon watches, horrified, as chaos breaks out. Clergy
scramble for buckets of water, aristocrats trip over their
own
robes, and the Pope frantically fans the flames with his
hat.
Napoleon climbs onto the altar, trying to regain control.
NAPOLEON
(ordering)
10 Everyone remain calm! The Emperor has 10
this under control!
He grabs a ceremonial staff and attempts to bat down the
flaming
banner. Instead, he accidentally knocks it onto a group of
nobles, who scatter, screaming.
MARSHAL NEY
(pleading)
11 Your Majesty, perhaps we should 11
evacuate?
NAPOLEON
12 Evacuate? Never! An Emperor does not 12
flee from a coronation!
As the chaos continues, a small DOG runs into the cathedral,
barking furiously. It grabs the crown in its mouth and darts
away. The crowd gasps.
JOSEPHINE
(arms crossed)
13 And now the dog is Emperor. 13
--- PAGE BREAK --- 3. Napoleon glares at her but doesn’t have time to retort. He leaps off the altar and chases the dog down the aisle. The congregation watches in stunned silence as the "Emperor" scrambles on all fours, trying to grab the crown. Finally, Napoleon snatches the crown back, his robe now tattered and his dignity in shreds. He stomps back to the altar and places the crown on his head, glaring at the crowd.
NAPOLEON
(through gritted teeth)
14 Let it be known that 14
nothing—NOTHING—can stop the
coronation of Napoleon
Bonaparte!
The Pope cautiously approaches.
POPE PIUS VII 15 Your Majesty, shall we proceed with 15 the ceremony? Napoleon sighs, attempting to regain composure. NAPOLEON 16 Yes. Proceed. But let us ensure there 16 are no more distractions. As the Pope raises his hands to bless Napoleon, a stray pigeon flies through the open cathedral doors and lands on Napoleon’s head. The congregation bursts into laughter. JOSEPHINE (smiling) 17 Truly a day for the history books. 17 FADE OUT: THE END
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